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South versus North - Sunday 3rd September 2006
The South get the Hatchet at Datchet
With dark clouds vanishing over the horizon, replaced by a stunning late summer day, the BBC forecasters appeared to have finally got the coin toss right and LNZCC players and family aplenty arrived at Datchet for the 2006 inter-island clash with the prospect of a great day's cricket to follow.
"I haven't slept properly for 4 years now" announced the Northern side's skipper to his team as they donned their whites, such is the import of winning this fixture of fixtures and the seemingly irreparable damage done to Burge's psyche following 3 straight losses to the Southerrrrrrrnerrrrrrrrrrs. Poor Kirsty B.
The toss was made and the South took to the field looking keen and confident as Messrs Fanning and Oliver strode out to the middle to open up the North's innings.
Officiating this auspicious occasion were the Right Honourable Jonathon Hunt and Martin Conway Esquire - 2 finer and dichotomous umpires you couldn't hope to find. Marty, for instance, rarely gives an lbw these days. Mr Hunt on the other hand, who each year kindly gives his time to umpiring the early stages of this fixture, is infamously eager to stamp his mark on the game (read: send at least a couple of batsmen back to the changing sheds before heading back to national duties) and therefore vulnerable to the classic "incessant appealing technique"… a particularly underhanded tactic usually employed by only the lowliest form of cricketer. Let's just say that this infamy clearly hadn't been lost on the 2006 South side as Vancer and Tim B-E opening salvo comprised some fiery deliveries and equally vociferous appealing. Quite surprisingly and most unfortunately for the South the deliveries were spanked and the appeals ignored.
The North's opening duo got their side off to a great start with some elegant strokes and runs coming at a good clip. Matt "shades of Edgar" Fanning was first out after a well compiled 18. That bought Terry Crabbe to the wicket. The right and left hander combo clicked and together he and "Spesh" proceeded to dismiss the Southern bowling attack to all corners with both batsmen rapidly moving past the fifty mark. To be fair to the South, their bowling and fielding had been exemplary and by exemplary I mean smashed and rendered redundant, respectively. Even the Southern skip seemed uncharacteristically lost at cover to the extent that he eventually gave up using his hands to stop the ball, opting instead to take it on the chin.
With the North innings looking in great shape both Terry and Mike departed in quick succession, having made 66 and 54 respectively. They were replaced by Roycey Reinholds - a man who by his own admission had turned up 1 part human and 999 parts Pinot Noir after a wedding in Devon the night before - and the writer (nicknamed somewhat hypocritically "block bash" by Vancer - more on this shortly). Anyway, after one or two defensive strokes and a couple of shots from the other end of the spectrum, the writer eventually bashed one to point where Peter Tippen grasped a most unexpected catch - cheers Pete - love your Crusaders shirt, not!
Now Matt Reinholds is a man that truly adores booze. As far as I can tell he revels in any liquid situation and that clearly is also the case in the aftermath of an evening spent snorkelling in a vat of red wine. Roycey negotiated some wily bowling from the likes of Fletch and the Claw in proceeding to clock up 77 runs mixing the sublime with the brutal (read: Tim B-E copping Matt's ever so slightly dropped shoulder during one quickly taken single). Unfortunately Matt tired considerably towards the end of his endings and was eventually run out when he passed out mid-single having caught a whiff of his own soaking wet and now red wine flavoured cricket shirt. Matt was ably supported by various LNZCC stalwarts throughout his innings, the likes of Perky, Burge, TP (who proved he too could put the dropped shoulder to good effect… Andy B feeling the might of the North this time around) and finally Ryan Edwards with his spectacularly expensive one ball bat.
The North's ranks were also bolstered by a random hitchhiker we picked up wandering along the A4 who went by the name of "Sooty" Adams, a bit of an odd chap who talked a good game of cricket - reckons he plays for Essex and the odd NZ international game as well - frankly I have my doubts about the authenticity of these claims. I mean despite giving away a bunch of Essex team kit and striking a couple of "internationalesque" boundaries, surely anyone that gets clean bowled by Vancer...
Rich "Stripes" Holden was not required to bat.
So after their allotted 45 overs, the North had reached 297 for 8 and headed for lunch feeling pretty chuffed with the morning's effort. The South remained in good spirits (read: delusional) which was nice.
Halfway Stats:
Scoreboard North 297-8 (45 overs) South 254-8 (45 overs) North win by 43 Runs
North Batting Runs Catches Stumpings
Matt Fanning 18
1
Extras 21
FOW 25, 142, 154, 168, 213, 246, 286, 296
South Bowling O M R W
Vance Thompson 9 0
57 2 wickets (bowled) After a fine lunch and a delicious pint (thanks Burge) the North took to the field eager to put the South to the sword - so to speak. Pete Tippen and Vancer opened up the batting for the South - Ryan took the new ball for the North. What followed was quite amusing from the North's perspective (not to mention every so slightly hypocritical) as Vancer opted for the "block, bash, run Pete Tippen out without scoring, sacrifice his own wicket then race off to a wedding technique"… bit of a shocker really. The following day Vancer justified these calamitous actions by stating that he had purposefully run out Pete for the good of the South and then given away his own wicket all for the love a of a Mojito or 3… bit of a shocker really.
Enter one Michael "Adder" Singleton. With 9 LNZCC seasons behind him and sporting a new schoolboy haircut, Mike combined this extensive experience and new youthful outlook to great effect building a very useful innings for the South. As Ramster and Crabbe steamed in from opposite ends bowling unplayable delivery after unplayable delivery, Dormer and "the Chairman" came and went in fairly quick fashion - at 4 wickets down for 40 runs, things were starting to look pretty grim for the trustees of the Trevor Campbell Cup.
Enter one Andy Barkle. With 34 LNZCC seasons behind him and reputedly sporting the same haircut yet again, Andy, like Michael, could draw on his vast cricketing experience. With Singo and Andy at the crease the Southern innings blossomed into a thing of great beauty, and this despite the fact that Burge called on this supposed current international superstar legend Adams, who to be fair to the guy once again seemed to know what he was doing with the ball. The writer didn't see several of Adams' deliveries… lord knows how Singo and Barkle coped, but cope they did.
Having compiled an excellent 61, Mike couldn't resist Perky's challenge to take on the vacant mid-on, which much to Mike's disgust wasn't as vacant as he'd thought... random Adams guy made the catch look easy. The comedy moment of the North's fielding stint was provided by Matty Reinholds who, clearly suffering out on the long-off boundary, finally lost the will to live at about the 35 over mark. In essence, Roycey tried to take his life by fence implantation while feigning an attempted catch - it was a failed attempt on both counts and as the dust cloud cleared there Matt lay sprawled across the fence, nose buried in the dusty path on the far side, the ball an arm's length away seemingly laughing at him, as were the rest of the north side...
Despite Andy Barkle continuing to bat strongly, the loss of firstly Singo and then Fletch soon after meant the game was tilting heavily in the North's favour.
Enter the Chin (previously known as the Claw). 17 (or thereabouts) lusty blows later and the Chin walked off the field on 74 not out - an absolute gem of an innings - an innings of spectacular clean hitting - an innings which was frankly just not good enough on the day…
At the end of 45 overs the South had reached 254 for 8.
Fulltime Stats:
South Batting Runs Catches Stumpings
Vance Thompson 8
Extras 13
FOW 2, 13, 17, 40, 129, 162, 163, 182
North Bowling O M R W
Ryan Edwards
9 1 33 2 (caught x2)
GBK Man of the Match (North) - Matt (hic)
Reinholds
A big thanks to Peter Coleman for scoring the match with typical energy and enthusiasm. Great to see you and that random Adams character getting on so well afterwards too Pete!
A big thanks also to the many friends and family, young and old, who turned out on the day to support what is always an outstanding fixture. I think I counted 42 prams at one point, which is truly a sign of the times…
A fond farewell is bid to Mike and Pippa Singleton, who are very wisely taking their 3 youngsters back to live in NZ, albeit Christchurch. We wish you guys all the very best with the move home. Mike, you play the game like a true gentleman and your sense of humour will be sorely missed by all the club - particularly Perky who will have Burge flapping in his ear the whole time now.
So after what can only be described as 3 unimaginably fortuitous wins over the mighty North Islanders in recent years, the Trevor Campbell Cup is heading back where it belongs. Go the NORTH!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, I am pleased to report (courtesy of Kirsty Burgess) that Richard is now back to his snoring best… long may that continue!
Chappie Part-time Lawyer |
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