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Auckland Versus Wellington - Saturday 18th February 2006 The kindest thing I can say about this particular match was that it was men against boys, but this report is not about kindness. For the record, Auckland batted first at the picturesque Opeto Domain somewhere between Taupo and Napier. History will record that the Aucklanders mercilessly plundered what was a genuinely mediocre bowling attack, further watered down by schoolboy field settings and the late arrival of Wellington's best cricketer, the once immensely talented Mark Simmonds who was taking a frustrating 2 hours to drive from Turangi to Taupo in the company of several thousand wobbly legged old fools going for a run of obscene proportions at a rate marginally faster than standing still. Back in Taupo poor young Phil Armstrong was so excited about the smorgasbord before him that he lashed out at what was probably the best ball bowled by a Wellingtonian all day and was well caught in the deep. This bought Mike Bell to the wicket who carved the third ball he faced over cover for 4 in a manner that can only be described as imperious. Mike formed a partnership with the very frisky and excited Earl Grey that took the score into the 70's before Earl expired for a classy 32. Enter Andy Brown looking set to cause trouble. Mike Bell brought up his 50 with a shot to a part of the ground that was, much to everyone's amazement, unprotected. In the next 3 or 4 overs Mike helped himself to another 50 runs in much the same area which remained glaringly free of any fielders other the poor souls that had to run the 50 or 60 metres from their errant fielding positions to retrieve the ball. In the short space of 2 overs from Mike Piper, I estimated that deep backward square leg ran a minimum of 1.5 kms purely in ball retrieval duties. I didn't know Mike Piper 25 years ago and maybe, just maybe, he was quick enough to have his bouncers hooked to backward square leg but suffice it to say that those days have gone. In amongst all this plunder Wellingtons great white hope arrived and took the field in a green shirt. Any self respecting captain would have sent him home to get the right attire, but Simmo was needed to stop the bleeding. Shortly after his arrival at the bowling crease we saw the demise of Mike Bell, who after dispatching Simmo for yet another boundary was forced to retire on 102. A grand innings. What happened next was a visual symphony. Brownie batted beautifully as he is inclined to do and Tim Irvine was nothing short of dismissive. They both eventually fell for 55 in what seemed like about 8 minutes but was more like 15. The innings came to an end at 269/4 after the agreed 35 overs. The only bowler worthy of mention is Max Taylor-Smith whose father thought it prudent to throw a young lad the ball when Tim and Andy were in full flight. Max did himself proud. Steve Wainwright bowled well initially but suffered in the final onslaught. After a spectacular lunch and much needed drink the battle resumed. The rest, quite frankly is too banal to waste my laboured typing skills on but I will soldier on in the interests of history. Steve Wainwright opened the innings and was the rock around which the others were supposed to bat. This a fine theory if there are batsmen at the other end capable of the 2 or 3 boundaries an over required to take this match out. Alas it quickly became apparent that Wellington's strength was their bowling. Steve compiled a patient and determined 43 off the allotted 35 overs and John Taylor-Smith got a solid 50 sprinkled with some good shots and a slice of good fortune. My own moment of glory was cruelly denied me by the over-zealousness of two of our fielders, Earl Grey and Phil Armstrong. Standing at leg gulley trying to devise ways to stay awake while JTS was batting I opted for a bit of sledging. Having watched John pat four successive half volleys back to the bowler I asked out loud whether I had it right and was the target really something like 9 or 10 an over? Or was I mistaken? It wasn't a comment that will be remembered for it's accuracy but was SO close to being remembered for it's effect. I could see John doing his sums as his brow furrowed and the very next ball he lashed out wildly in a vain attempt to hit it off the block, only to lob it very weakly up towards square leg where the two aforementioned fielders engaged in a contest to see who could shout "mine" the most and the loudest. Needless to say there was a clash of bodies with the ball sitting harmlessly on the ground between them. The gut wrenching disappointment I felt is beyond words. For the Aucklanders John Irvine bowled superbly as did Austen Harris at the other end. Toward the end of the innings we were treated to a brief spell of bowling from Tom Bassett that displayed a remarkable level of variation for which Tom was rewarded with the impressive figures of 2/18 off about 21 overs or so. Earl Grey rolled down his leggies and actually spun the ball and I bowled some hideously inept drivel that was treated as if I too was going to spin the ball. Chance would be a fine thing. The end came with Wellington LNZ a tad short of the halfway mark. The evening that followed was typified by one Wellingtonian crying into his cleansing ale and asking why they had been dismissed with such disdain and ease. It's simple really: 1. Leadership. Auckland LNZ enjoys a decided advantage here. 2. Auckland LNZ are, for now, demonstrably better cricketers. Remember that Auckland has NEVER lost this contest. That is NEVER. Worse was to come for our hapless southerners. Last year golf at Wairakei was added to round off the weekend in a leisurely manner. Having being humbled on the cricket field and managing a narrow advantage on the golf course on Sunday, Wellington deemed that golf should be included on the inscription on the cup. This blatantly nefarious attempt to get their name on the cup backfired this year as the year 2006 will have the word Auckland in both columns. Mark Simmonds made his 9 hour drive from Wellington worth a tad more than Saturday's return of 7-0-58-0 and one with the bat (that one being a catch dropped on the boundary) with a creditable 39 stableford points on the testing Wairakei course. However the class of Tim Irvine, Andy Brown, Tom Bassett and Phil Armstrong saw Auckland secure a comfortable victory. Maybe next year there will be another column on the cup. "Most Filled Rolls Consumed" or "Longest Throw" has a ring a bout it, given that most of Wellingtons ball retrieval was done by relay and involved generally at least 4 of them to get it back to the bowler. Any other suggestions for getting Wellingtons' name on the cup will be gratefully received by John Taylor-Smith. I would like to thank all those that were responsible for organizing what was yet another magnificent weekend, and I would also wish to thank the growing number of Taupo-ites that helped fill out both teams. Scoreboard Auckland 269-4 (35 Overs) Wellington 128 (35 Overs) Auckland win by 141 Runs
Auckland Batting Runs Catches Stumpings Mike Bell 102 retired Tim Irvine 55 Andy Brown 55 Earl Grey 32 Phil Armstrong Graeme Orr Austin Harris Tom Bassett John Irvine
Auckland Bowling O M R W Tom Bassett 3 0 18 2** John Irvine 7 0 29 1 Austin Harris 7 0 32 2 Graeme Orr 7 0 19 0
** the book said 3 overs but Tom was bowling a lot longer than that.
Wellington Batting Runs Catches Stumpings John Taylor-Smith 53 Steve Wainwright 43* Mark Simmonds Max Taylor-Smith Mike Piper
Wellington Bowling O M R W Steve Wainwright 7 0 48 2 Mark Simmonds 7 0 58 0 Max Taylor-Smith 3 0 21 0 John Taylor-Smith 1 0 59 0*
* could be a misread
Golf
Auckland LNZ 33.4 average stableford pts. (Tim Irvine 37, Andy Brown 37, Phil Armstrong 32, Tom Bassett 33)
Wellington LNZ 31.2 average stableford pts (Mark Simmonds 39, Mike Piper 33)
Footnote: John Taylor-Smith got the hundred he has been promising us for so long, but sadly for him it was on the Sunday. |
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