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Wiltshire Queries - Sunday 29th May 2005
Last year against Wiltshire we had our collective botties smacked until they bled. This year it was us doing the smacking and them protesting just a little too loud and begging us to ‘please stop as it hurts so good.’
I’ve never skippered an LNZCC match, so I was a little nervous. But after a military operation by Samantha Edwards of Sidcup, we arrived 40 minutes EARLY, and got things ORGANISED, for a start ON TIME. I duly lost the toss and we were asked to bat in a declaration format-game.
Haynes and Greenidge (aka Swann and Tippen) fresh from their impressive stand at Chenies and Latimer – strode out and despatched short, wide bowling to all corners. So complete was the performance that David Von Chapman-Smythe IIX – due in at 4, decided against padding up. The hundred partnership came and went, and against the run of play, Swann departed for a well formed 40, returning to rapturous applause from all and sundry.
Lunch was taken – and I would’ve thought that lessons were learned from Isaac’s ill fated liquid batting preparation ritual from the previous week. I was wrong. Circumstances conspired to there being copious quantities of Chateau Neuf de Pape available with lunch – and most said ‘posh drop, why not?’.
After lunch things went downhill. Tippen departed for 77 glorious runs, the stunningly handsome Shaun Perkinson looked fantastic – as he always does – before going for too few. His highlight was most definitely a lofted six onto his own windscreen.
David Chapman-Smythe-Forbes-Jones-Etherington looked assured, clubbed a couple of balls to the boundary and then followed Perkinson back to the pavilion and the bevy of wives, girlfriends and family that had journeyed down for the occasion.
Ande MacPherson had an innings to forget.
Don Hudson scratched and pecked his way to far too few, the sole moment of class being a glorious cover drive which reminded all that the boy can bat. Wearing Lester’s ripped whites he cut a somewhat forlorn figure, but having one of the old crew back was a great boost to the side.
Christopher Lee – shrugging off recent nuptials and honeymoon failed to take full advantage of being dropped off a skier, yours truly looked faultless and was only removed by international standard fielding in the deep, and Lester showed his class by taking us to a very respectable total of 262.
With the ball we were scary. It was moving all over the place, with the Claw and the Badger having the batsmen playing and missing at will. There was an exchange of words between an elderly opener and the slips cordon after a very loud and very valid appeal for lbw. When dismissed by Lester he was heard to say ‘no thanks to you twats’, however I was assured later that what he actually said was ‘no tanks for two cats’, and that it was all a misunderstanding.
The Queries were 4 down at tea, and despite some resistance in the middle order, a famous victory looked on the cards. Philip Bartle entered the fray and never quite discovered the line and length that terrorised Wellington 2D club players, and gave way to Richard Holden and his autumn leaves. With Christopher Lee steaming in and taking edges aplenty, and Holden teasing the youngsters – it was all too much and we were soon requiring just two more wickets. Again there was resistance, but the Badger came back, Chris Lee was asked to continue at the crease and the last two wickets were picked up with them on a paltry total of 88.
Notable highlights: Hudson slippered like a God, Macpherson picked up 2 catches and a stumping of the evergreen Holden, Perkinson tore a hammy, Lester did a groin, Marty fired two players leg before, Chapman-Smooth lost his boots, and The Dog asked somewhat loudly from the boundary if one of the young batsmen ‘really wanted to be bowled by a 60 year old’. I can only hope the ageing gentleman in question was Mr. Holden and not myself. Plus Lester's caught & bowled.
It was a great day, thanks to everyone for making it so, and for showing that despite it taking place on such a difficult weekend, this fixture is well worth the effort.
Scoreboard LNZCC 262/9 declared (55 overs) Wiltshire Queries 88 all Out LNZCC win by 174 runs
Batting Runs Catches Stumpings Pete Tippen 77 Andy Swann 40 1 Shaun Perkinson 25 Dave Chapman-Smith 15 Don Hudson 16 2 Ande MacPherson 0 Chris Lee 18 Steve Lester 26* 1 Ryan Edwards 15 Philip Bartle 4 Richard Holden 8*
FOW 113, 142,142, 147, 157, 157, 195, 202, 226, 235
Bowling O M R W Ryan Edwards 11.2 2 11 3 Steve Lester 6 1 15 2 Philip Bartle 3 0 24 0 Chris Lee 8 4 19 3 Richard Holden 5 1 13 2
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