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Harefield - Sunday 5th June 2005 The day dawned fine with the threat of showers which never (unfortunately) eventuated. The Skipper had organised to pick Gordon up at Denham station on the way to the ground. But while cruising around the M25 he had a call from Gordy saying that the train had been cancelled. Not even that but the next one was running 12 minutes late which meant we wouldn’t get to the ground until about 5 minutes before kick off – that is National Rail for you on a Sunday! Not a problem I said – warm ups are for sissies with bad hamstrings – she’ll be right! But that was a sign of things to come for the day……… After a plethora of e-mails during the week pleading for players – The Skipper was optimistic that on paper we had a reasonably balanced team. But after the introductions were made to half the team of new faces, the probing questions about whether people bowled and where they batted resulted in the feedback that we had at least six specialist number 7’s who didn’t bowl. Hmmm….. The Skipper mused. The batting order will be a challenging little lottery then, won’t it. By this stage The Skipper had wandered out to the middle, quite pleased with himself that he had negotiated a 40 over game with NO limit per bowler earlier in the week, called correctly and we (well – that should be The Skipper) decided to bat. Gordy had volunteered to open, so given our lack of specialist top order batsman, The Skipper decided to partner Gordon and all was well. Surveying the field before the first delivery, The Skipper noted about four players who were older than 17 in the side. The opening bowler looked about 12. The Skipper quietly thought – well, they may just be about to receive a good old LNZCC spanking today - but comfortable with conclusion that they would surely learn from the experience. First mistake. The youngster who opened the bowling had an outswinger going, but his real asset was his round arm skiddy action. In normal circumstances, this would not have been an asset. However on the pitch that had been prepared, the end he was bowling to failed to deliver more than half a dozen deliveries bouncing higher than half way up the stumps all day. Unluckily Gordon was the guinea pig that found this out the hard way and went back to a skidder which had him plum in front for 0. Matt Reinholds strode to the crease. He threatened to unleash those big shoulders into a pedestrian delivery down the leg side but unfortunately missed, overbalanced and didn’t make it back into the crease before former LNZCC keeper Dan Lyall completed the stumping. Matt had squeezed out 5 before his untimely demise, but there was something not quite cricket about a leg side stumping being taken off an opening bowler before the first 10 overs were up. When Matt departed, the score was 32. So there must have been some runs coming from the other end – and indeed there was! The Skipper had used the lofted square drive (aka thick outside edge) to good effect for a couple of boundaries and then lifted the senior opening bowler onto the sightscreen for six (The Skipper was quite proud of that one). Anyway, Peter Gibson came to the crease and looked comfortable in compiling three runs. Then the bowling change of the century (or of that five minutes) occurred. The 12 year old opening bowler was replaced by an even younger looking version with the surname of Knife – and he lived up to his name by cutting the LNZ resistance to shreds. A combination of the slow low wicket and the disbelief that a third seamer could deliver such as slow delivery without bouncing twice, Peter played his shot three times before the ball got to him – missed and was bowled. Richard Mills (who by his own admission hadn’t held a bat in four years) was next. The former University Grange player had just arrived from a year in Amsterdam – but I am reading nothing into that. However, another innocuous but very straight delivery had Richard – I would have said in two minds – but I think multiple minds would be a better term as he looked as though he was simultaneously trying to work out which end of the bat to use, which foot to move in the direction of the ball, and whether Mose Tuiali'i would make the All Blacks starting XV before playing his shot. But alas while he was coming up with the answers to those questions – the ball had passed him and it cannoned (well – rattled the off bail enough that it fell off) and was a prime candidate for bag packing at the end of the day. Enter Thommo to face the hat trick ball with the field crowded in. Nonchalantly The Vancer swotted the delivery away and quietly said to himself – what was the start of the over all about. At the end of the over, The Vancer said to The Skipper, “we have got a bit of work to do, lets push it around for a while” and so ensued the largest partnership of the innings of 25. However the Skipper, after despatching a couple of Knife full tosses to the cover boundary, decided to whip a ball pitching on leg behind the keeper (i.e. played right across and all over it), missed and had the leg stump clipped for the high score of 38. Bugger. Mark Leicester also failed to score after being given LBW and trundled off the field rubbing his thigh and wondering how he could have been given out. The Skipper didn’t see the action since he was still in the dressing room moping over his dismissal, but on good authority he heard that the thigh in question was below stump level at the time the ball hit, so we can only wonder at what shot was being attempted at the time since Mark is not a small man. In the meantime John McMullan (4) and The Vancer (15) gave Knife his five wicket bag – to the delight of the Harefield supporters as they coerced his old man into getting the drinks in (being another 10 years before the youngster would be able to buy the beers himself). There was nothing express about his bowling – but he bowled straight and picked up the rewards, however kindly they were donated. Greg Hansen cracked a couple of fours at number nine before being bowled for 14 and Stuart Mason built a picket fence of singles to reach five before being bowled as well. Philip Bartle was left 0 not out – not wanting to damage his average or aggregate at the same time. So the sorry result was – London New Zealand all out for 97. Should I stop now? Is it as painful for you to read as it is
for me to type? Tea was taken about 10 minutes later, since the hot stuff wasn’t quite ready due to the “brief” LNZ innings of 31 overs. But when the tea came out – it was apparent to all why Harefield is known for the best teas in the league – superb. So we took an extra 15 mins for tea to enable seconds and thirds – it wasn’t as if we were struggling for time. So the Skipper opened the bowling (and was tempted to keep as well – but the Gibbo wouldn’t share his gloves….) and Chris Lee’s newly acquired brother in law went back to a later in swinger at the “low” end second ball, didn’t offer a shot and was (eventually) given out LBW. Why the hesitation you ask? The umpire said he was the captain’s son so had to think carefully about it but would have been embarrassed not to give it! Right. The young opening bowler came in at number 3 and tried to, it seems, paddle an in swinging delivery on off stump to square leg with the edge of the bat but unsurprisingly missed and was bowled. So the Skipper had a quick two wickets and they were 3 for 2 in reply, and we thought we might be in with a sniff. But that thought disappeared reasonably quickly. Hayden Smith (captain of North Shore in NZ who was invited up to play from some league down in Hampshire) and our man Dan set about professionally getting the total. Smith was particularly strong off his legs while “Dan the Man” seemed to enjoy the cover boundary somewhat. The Vancer toiled and bowled well up the hill, mumbling something about wanting a go from the other end, but went unrewarded after having a couple of “definite” LBW’s turned down. There was even a comment from the sidelines about his lovely action. Hmmm……. So after 14 overs a double bowling change was made with Phil “The Destroyer” Bartle taking up the cause and Matt “brother of” Reinholds giving a bit of a nude off spin show. Matt persisted in darting many a ball down the leg side in an attempt to convince everyone that he wouldn’t be the only one falling for the old “stumped down the leg side while overbalancing” trick that day – but unfortunately he was. However Smith, after taking the score with Lyall to within 12 runs of victory, decided to have a heave across the line and got bowled by a rare delivery from Matt that was targeted at the stumps. This triggered a bit of excitement in the ranks since out trotted the rest of the babes in arms, fresh from downing the milk and cookies that Mum had packed for them, who proceeded to attempt to play some of the most extraordinary cross the line slogs despite being told to play straight and bat for Dan by the captain, non striker Lyall and the umpire (who was reprimanded by The Skipper for doing so of course). The Destroyer ended up collecting a couple of wickets in between the beam balls that Phil would throw in occasionally. These deliveries were strange since 5 out of 6 balls an over where right on the spot (or thereabouts). There was panic in the ranks when the sixth wicket fell with still 4 runs to get, but the cool headed Lyall proceeded to whip another attempted “Bartle Beamer” to the long leg boundary to put us out of our misery. On paper it looked close-ish – but really it was a bollocking of a loss. The guys tried hard in the field with good support for the bowlers, but we never had enough runs. But at least the sun was shining and we managed to field a side and avoided repeating the default of the prior year. So thanks to all the guys that turned out and those who even volunteered to play if we were short after a 10km run that morning – good stuff. On that note, The Skipper will sign off. This is The Skipper’s debut match report (managed to select journos in the past that wrote it for me!). The sub editors may have a field day taking to it with scissors to fit it onto one page – but it’s been fun. Roll on Four Elms! The final word goes to Phil “The Destroyer” Bartle, who when asked by John McMullan why he bowled so many beamers and replied he didn’t know, found out that he was holding the ball too far back in his hand. After being shown by The Skipper and The Vancer where they held it he declared “I have been bowling slower balls all my life and didn’t know!”. So watch hold for the “new and improved” Destroyer at a ground near you shortly! Scoreboard LNZCC 97 All Out Harefield 99-6 Harefield win by 4 wickets
Batting Runs Catches Stumpings Aaron Gale 38 Gordon Harcourt 0 Matt Reinholds 5 Peter Gibson 3 Richard Mills 0 Vance Thompson 15 Mark Leicester 0 John McMullan 4 Greg Hansen 14 Stuart Mason 5 Philip Bartle 0*
Bowling O M R W Aaron Gale 7 1 22 2 Vance Thompson 7 1 31 0 Philip Bartle 6.1 0 28 2 Matt Reinholds 6 1 14 2
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