London New Zealand Cricket Club has found their bogey team. Following on 

from narrow losses to Hampshire side Hartley Wintney in the past two seasons, 

LNZ stared certain victory straight between the eyes before capitulating meekly

in Monday’s season opener. 

Chasing a moderate 190 from 42 overs for victory, LNZ collapsed from 133/3 to be all out for 156.

The latter half of the Kiwis' scorebook resembled binary code.

The sequence of ones and zeros provided the answer to the startling conundrum: how could they possibly lose from there? 

Despite the loss of two early wickets, LNZ's run chase started well. Opening the

innings for the Kiwis, Gordon Harcourt was bowled for one when a rush of blood

resulted from his being struck by an unnecessary shy at the stumps from Wintney's

opening bowler. Fellow opener Richard Burgess then contrived to run out the

debutante first drop Isaac Southwell with a disgraceful piece of running between

the wickets. Burgess, having drastically over-estimated his own pace, changed 

his mind midway through a second run to leave Southwell stranded mid-pitch and

run out for two.

Undaunted, Burgess slayed the bowling to all parts of the picturesque Wintney oval

(although predominantly to cow corner, it must be said) on his way to a mesmerizing

83 that included five sixes and seven fours. Burgess was joined initially be Steve Deane,

whose quick fire 22 included a straight six back over the sight-screen, and the Richard

Keyse, who also posted a sprightly 22.

But that was as good as it got for the Kiwis. Keyse and Burgess departed in quick

succession and the rot set in. LNZ skipper Tony Penman (10), the only other LNZ 

batsman to post double figures, looked to grind out the result. But his timing was 

astray and he never looked comfortable against the Hampshire side's by now all 

spin attack. Penman, the club treasurer, at times regarded his bat with the 

look of a man who thought he'd uncovered a priceless gem on Antiques Road 

Show, only to be told it was worthless and that he'd have to cover the 

not inconsiderable freight costs of returning it to the Chatham Islands. It 

came as no surprise, then, when Penman lobbed a gentle catch to mid-off 

to plunge the Kiwis deeper into the custard.

Debutantes Craig Carson and James Lindsay scattered one run efforts 

between ducks by Vance Thompson and Garth Deck and it was all over before 

anyone had a chance to request Mary hoist her trousers.

Earlier, a superb fielding effort backed up by a solid five-prong bowling attack

had limited the hosts to 189/7 from their 42 overs. Craig Carson was the main

destroyer, picking up 3/24 from nine overs of miserly inswing, including a 

stunning caught and bowled to dismiss the dangerous Digweed. But, having 

clutched to his chest the rebound from a drive that struck his wrist with

considerable venom, Carson may have later regretted pointing Digweed in the

direction of the pavilion. Not only did Carson have to head there himself shortly

after for treatment, but it was Digweed who would have the last laugh with five

cheap LNZ wickets. 

Newcomer Deck was tidy in delivering nine overs for 31 runs and was unlucky

not to snare his first wicket for the club when Keyse put down the only missed

chance of the day, a diving effort in the gully. Richard Holden and Vance 

Thompson picked up a wicket apiece in tidy spells, while James Lindsay's pace 

accounted for two Wintney scalps as he posted figures of 2/38.

But the Kiwis' bowling effort wasn't backed up with the bat and the loss of the

last seven wickets for only 23 runs condemned LNZ to yet another loss to a side

that seems to have their measure. 

Umpire Conway could have sat the whole day out on the boundary (along with Dave Tikao), as only one affirmative decision was given, however, the batsman was already making his way to the pavilion after being stumped. Thanks also are due to our new scorer - Master Hamish Penman – who did a fine job for an 8 year old.